Have you ever set off for a goal only to self-sabotage or relapse back into old habits?

Most people know what to do in the broad sense, which will get you at least 80% of the way.

Why then do so many of us fall off the tracks and back into old habits?

First of all, you need to reverse engineer the process and “start with why”.

Why do you even want to change anything in the first place?

Is it that: 

• You wish you had a different friendship circle/network that you connected with more on a more deeper level?
• Your job/career is being affected by who you are and what you do?
• Your mental health and perception of your reality is being affected by who you are and what you’re doing/ not doing now
• You feel as if you have more potential which you want to un-tap and live ‘above the line’?
• You want to meet people or someone and you feel as though the person you are now isn’t going to attract the right person. 
• You want to be role model for your kids and show them that being fit, healthy and happy stems from being a product of your philosophy (walking the talk)
• You want to stop playing it small and take the leap of faith towards living the best years of your life to the fullest potential (physical and mental)
• You feel that by emulating the habits of someone who portrays these characteristics, you will fit in and become part of their crew and ultimately that place will be more fulfilling than the place you’re in now.

These are all very valid responses and you have to make a choice. 

If the answer is NO to the above, (and there’s nothing deep enough to drive you that I might have missed) then you have nothing to prove or do. It sounds like you’re in a good space at the moment or just not quite ready to commit. 

Embarking on a journey that doesn’t involve a deep enough WHY will be fruitless and often end up causing unnecessary stress & anxiety due to feeling like a failure (at something that you didn’t want to do anyway) 

Once the initial motivation wears off, there won’t be a big enough driver for you to keep on going. 

So don’t beat yourself up and conform to external validation and force yourself to make changes for the hell of it. 

Do a self-assessment and if you’re truly happy with your current habits, your current physical and mental situation and your current lifestyle, then keep living your life to the max.

(That’s not sarcasm by the way. I mean it. If you don’t want or need to make any drastic changes, then don’t) 

BUT

If you did say yes to any of the above, you then have to decide how your life will be different if you do actually change and become this person you said you wanted to become.

You have to decide whether or not you are ready to be that person and do the things that this person will need to do. 

With great change comes great responsibility. You will be venturing into unknown territory and it will be scary. 

As I’m sure you’re aware, you can’t change the person you are by staying the same person you are today. What got you here won’t get you there. 

Things will change. Your friends, your schedule, your habits, your body. You will ultimately change and create a new identity. 

If you haven’t thought ahead and if you’re not willing to accept the new identity and the responsibility, there will be no congruency between what you say you want to do and the actions that you take, ultimately ending in self-sabotaging behaviours. 

You’ll have constant anxious thoughts running through your head, filling your mind with doubt as to whether or not you are better off staying with the “devil you know” vs finding the angel you don’t. 

• What if I don’t actually fit into the new crowd?
• What if they know my back story and think I’m an imposter?
• What if I fail?
• What if it’s not actually all it’s cracked up to be and I spent all this time and energy doing something just to find that the grass isn’t greener?

Which are all very valid, yet self-sabotaging, self-limiting questions, however, what if the opposite is also true?

• What if you don’t fail?
• What if they do accept you into their network?
• What if you enter a new world and your life gets taken to a new level?
• What if the new identity is exactly what you’re looking for?

Are you willing to find out? 

If there’s a gap from where you are now to where you want to be, then what’s the worst that can happen if you don’t like the new world?
You can always go back to your current habits and current lifestyle. I’m sure you have a pretty good handle on that by now, so it will be like riding a bike if you ever want to go back. 

But what if you like the new world, your new lifestyle, your new friends? Wouldn’t you rather have the choice?

If you are willing to find out, ask yourself this simple phrase. 

Who do I need to be? What do I need to do? To have what I want to have?

Ask yourself what you want to 

• Keep doing
• Stop doing 
• Start doing 

And ultimately, “Am I going to accept the new person I will become if I make these above changes”.

In Body by Brando, we help people uncover their true goals every single day. 

We call it the diagnose, design and deliver protocol. We help you:

• Diagnose your current situation and uncover your true goals 
• Design an effective and efficient action plan with objective and measurable markers 
• Deliver the plan with you and hold you accountable until you’ve reached the goal and concreted it into your new identity.